Photos by // Jenny Lane Studios
It was Abby Lee Miler who almost singlehandedly took the generalized term “stage mom” to a modern-day specific with her band of dance moms. The truth is that mothers of children chasing the dream of performance success can’t help but become a major part of the journey. Though very far from the intense dictatress seen on reality television, the unique sorority of today’s dance moms is alive and well in the local area with a new take on the euphoria that comes from raising a dancer. From bun after bun, dozens of tights, countless dance shoes, to many pointed toes, these moms each have a story to tell.
Melissa Llewellyn Withey & Daughter Sloan
Sloan Elizabeth Withey is just a 6-year-old kindergartner and is already a 4-year veteran of dance. Starting at just 2 years old in a mommy and me class, she has been pointing her toes since! Mom Melissa, owner of Pure Bliss Salon & Spa, has embraced life as a dance mom and is loving it.
Dance Studio
Kathy’s School of Dance in Durand. She has also taken dance classes at Terry Matlock School of Performing Arts in the past.
Styles of Dance
Sloan takes several classes: tap, jazz, ballet and two gymnastics classes. At age 4 she started doing competitive dances in tap and jazz.
Competitive Dance
Sloan started competing in jazz dance at age 4. She competed mainly in the 8 and under category and took second place at Rainbow National Dance Competition last year. This year she will compete in jazz and tap. Her group has placed first in tap and second in jazz. She will be heading to nationals this year in Minnesota. Sloan has also been entered in the dance photogenic categories. She has won Most Photogenic at several of the competitions.
From February to May she will attend at least four competitions and two to three conventions, plus take extra fun classes with different instructors from around the country to learn new techniques. These are generally all on the weekends. The family will travel all over Michigan and Ohio for competitions for weekend-long events.
What is the best thing about your child dancing from a mom point of view?
“It has taught her confidence. She loves the stage and turns into this shining star when she’s up there. It’s made her work hard to earn her spots in the front row. It’s made her learn to be a part of a team and that you have to practice and work hard, so you don’t let your team down. She’s made great friends and works a lot with the older girls and has some of them as great role models. It’s taught her to make friends and to step out of her comfort zone. It has also made her learn that not everybody wins all the time and not everyone gets trophies for just participating.
“She also sets time aside (she does this on her own) and practices every day. She tells me what she has done wrong. And what she does right. She does it over and over every single day. She will tell me, ‘Mom, I’m not getting my skips right. I need to practice eight times today.’ She initiates the practices at home. Also, whenever anyone comes to our house, she has to show them her dances. She smiles and makes faces just like she is on stage in front of judges!”
What is the worst?
“Sometimes the teachers are very hard on them at this young age. It’s hard to see some of the girls cry. But it does teach them discipline. It’s also expensive and takes up a lot of time. She’s had to miss birthday parties and things because we are at competition. We have had to rearrange family vacations around the dance schedule.
“I also think about when I was a kid and the only thing I did was dance. I loved it. But when I got to high school I wanted to do school activities and be with school friends. I had only really made dance friends at that point. I never made any sports teams except cheerleading. I have always given my daughter the option to try other sports and such, but she loves dance and wants to keep doing it.”
Withey does love being a dance mom and loves seeing her little girl love what she’s doing, and that’s what matters.
General Dance Schedule
Tuesdays is gymnastics from 5 to 5:30 p.m. Wednesday is tap and gymnastics from 6 to 7 p.m. Thursdays she has competitive tap, jazz, ballet and regular jazz from 3:45 to 6:45 p.m.
Kimberly Murphy Gray & Daughters Paris, Ireland & Asia
Handling the demands of time and finances associated with the world of being a dance mom is tough enough with one dancer, but times that by three, and the hobby becomes a lifestyle. Dance is a way of life in the Gray household, with dancers Paris (13), Ireland (12) and Asia (10) keeping mom Kimberly busy and juggling a full performance schedule!
Dance Studio
Ms. Bridget’s School of Dance
Styles of Dance
All three girls take ballet (contemporary), jazz, tap and hip hop. All three are on the competition team.
General Dance Schedule
Paris dances Monday from 5:30 to 8:30 and Thursday 4:30 to 7:45. Ireland and Asia dance Wednesday from 5:30 to 9 and Thursday 4:30 to 7:45. All three girls are at the studio on Saturdays from 8 to 4:30. The girls concentrate only on dance and are not involved with any other activities, with their dance passion taking priority.
What is the best thing about your child dancing from a mom point of view?
“The best part of dancing from a mother’s perspective is the sportsmanship my girls experience. The sense of support my girls have for fellow dancers as well as what they receive from fellow dancers.”
What is the worst?
“The worst part is definitely the very early morning competition times. We have never encountered ‘dance moms’ in our studio. In fact our studio is more like a family. Not to mention Ms. Bridget would never tolerate it.”
Gray added that dance truly is a sport. “It’s an entire year of practice and dedication. It’s not easy! Dance is one of the few sports, if not the only, that requires balance, strength, endurance, choreography and acting. I feel many people have no idea the training that goes into one single performance and oftentimes these dancers are performing seven or more dances per competition.”
Raising three amazing athletes requires a dedicated mom indeed.
Amy Macksood & Daughter Analise
Amy, considered the veteran among our moms, and her daughter, Analise, are reaching a crossroads with dance. At 16, Analise has danced for 13 years and is about to begin her junior year in high school. This is when dancers look at their future in the sport. They face the decision to continue with their craft in college as a major, to become a member of a collegiate dance team or to move on to new adventures.
Dance Studio
Analise started dancing at age 3 at Loree’s Dance Academy and went on to Le Studio School of Dance until it closed and has been at Terry Matlock since she was about 10.
Styles of Dance
Pom-pom, ballet, lyrical, hip hop and production as well as jazz
General Dance Schedule
Her dance schedule consists of three to four days a week depending on if a competition is close, about eight to nine hours a week, with Saturdays from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. Because of her commitment to the Grand Blanc High School Varsity Dance team, she adds another six to eight hours a week.
During high school dance team season, she sleeps about three to four hours a night on nights she has studio dance. Varsity Dance team practice is at 5:30 in the morning. Then she’s in school until 2:30 p.m. and then at dance until 9 p.m. Once home it’s homework time until 1 or 2 a.m. and then back up at 4:45 a.m. to get ready for high school practice.
What is the best thing about your child dancing from a mom point of view?
“I love watching her dance…it is well worth it to watch her do what she loves as it shows on stage! Lots of hard work and time and energy!”
Jennifer Ledgerwood of Jenny Lane Studios collects beautiful moments. She is skilled at using natural light and working in a studio setting. Her passion for photography started when her daughter took her first ballet class at the age of 4. It has morphed into a beautiful journey, to include high school seniors, models, professionals, families and, most recently, women’s contemporary portraiture.
What is the worst?
“I would say the worst thing about dance would be that it can get costly with competition fees, costume fees, choreographing fees and monthly class fees. However when seeing my daughter loving what she is doing, it easily outweighs the cost by far. Some comp weekends can be long and you spend your entire weekend inside an auditorium….That’s the sacrifice we make as dance moms as with any other sport.”
Clearly there is much more depth to the real dance moms than the depicted persona many have come to believe from the Lifetime reality show. These moms sacrifice along with their daughters. Although some will view this article and question the time commitments versus having time to simply be a child, parents are aware of when the time spent becomes too much. While they want their daughters to succeed at whatever they hope to do, they recognize how difficult it is to sustain a true dancer’s life and would gladly let their girls step away from the sport if they ever chose. They find the joy in each of their children’s happiness when performing.
Withey, Gray and Macksood all agree if their daughters no longer wanted to dance, they wouldn’t question the decision. In true mom form they would become some other kind of mom, in support of the next interest. That’s just what amazing moms do!